In a shocking turn of events, former Russian President and Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev appeared unusually sober during a live TV broadcast last night. Viewers were astounded as Medvedev, known for his lack of sobriety, delivered a coherent speech on Channel One.
What drew even more attention was Medvedev visibly shaking throughout the address, suggesting he might be going cold turkey. Despite this, his rhetoric remained much the same, with Medvedev issuing his trademark threats to use nuclear weapons against America and Europe.
“I could hardly believe it,” said Moscow resident Natasha Ivanova. “He was shaking, and did not mumble his words or appear completely wasted. Well, at least he still made nuclear threats against our enemies!”
Political analysts were left baffled. Dr. Igor Petrov from Moscow State University speculated (before his arrest), “Perhaps Medvedev is rebranding himself, though the shaking indicates he’s struggling.”
The Kremlin has not commented, with President Putin’s spokesperson Dmitry Peskov offering only a noncommittal, “We wish Mr. Medvedev the best.”
On the streets, reactions ranged from confusion to cautious optimism. Meanwhile, local bars reported a rare dip in vodka sales as people stayed home, captivated by the surreal broadcast.