degelzpost

The Biggest Rivalry of 2024: Russian Missiles Vs. Schools & Hospitals

Moscow, October 2024 - Rivalries are the spice of modern life: Coke vs. Pepsi, Marvel vs. DC, and now, perhaps the most one-sided showdown...

North Korean Soldiers Beg To Be Brought Back To North Korean Prisons After Seeing Russian Towns

Pyongyang, October 2024 — In a shocking development that speaks volumes about the state of Russia’s towns, North Korean soldiers stationed in the country...

Putin’s Dog Given Honorary Military Rank for “Outstanding Tolerance of Owner”

Putin’s Dog Promoted to Major General for "Enduring Daily Putin Rants Without Fleeing the Country" In an unprecedented—and frankly baffling—move, Russian President Vladimir Putin’s dog,...

Russia’s Z-mobile Car Unveil Fail: Investigation Launched

Russia’s new “Z-car” designed to overtake all major car industries around the world has surprisingly failed. Its engineers perfectly crafted its Z-shaped wheels and...

Not Enough Landmarks Named After Stalin, Government Poll Shows

September 30, 2024 - Moscow In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the nation, a new government-sanctioned poll indicates that Russia is suffering...

New Study: Middle-Aged & Elders Healthier When Denied Foreign Medicine & Food

In a groundbreaking new study funded by the Ministry of Health and Totally Unbiased Scientific Research (definitely not funded by the Kremlin), Russian citizens...

Wild Theory: Putin Wants To Bring Back Soviet Union

MOSCOW – In a shocking and totally unforeseeable twist that nobody—absolutely nobody—could have predicted, certain analysts and geopolitical experts have begun to toy with...

Millions Of Legal Migrants From Central Asia Prove Russia’s Economic Success – Putin

In a recent statement, Russian President Vladimir Putin has pointed to the influx of millions of legal migrants from Central Asia as evidence of...

Russia, China, North Korea & Iran: The Heroic Axis Of Freedom

Russia, China, North Korea & Iran: The Heroic Axis of Freedom In a world increasingly marred by chaos, confusion, and the alarming rise of democratic...

Russian Government Scientists Successfully Prevented Global Covid-19 Spread In 2020

MOSCOW — In a monumental achievement that will forever be etched in the annals of human history, the Russian government, under the visionary leadership...

Skolkovo Technologies Launches iPhone-Killer with Up to 10-Meter Call Radius

MOSCOW—In a move destined to shake the foundations of the global tech industry, Skolkovo Technologies has proudly unveiled its latest innovation: the ST-10 Communicator,...

Russian Climate Scientists Identify Biggest Existential Threat to Humanity: Russophobia

In a groundbreaking study that has sent shockwaves through the scientific community, Russian climate scientists have identified the biggest existential threat to humanity: Russophobia. The...

How to Edit Unfavorable Poll Results and Make Them Favorable to Russia Using Microsoft Paint – A KGB Workshop

Welcome to the premier KGB workshop, where we blend the ancient arts of deception with modern technological wonders! Today’s lesson: how to turn those...

Putin Compliments Farage’s Teeth in Bizarre Attempt to Forge Alliance

Moscow, Russia – In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads, Russian President Vladimir Putin recently lavished praise on former UKIP...

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